We were having communion at church after a good sermon on how God can bring good out of our guilt. They took a creative step and were flashing things on the screen that you can give to God and receive his forgiveness: “lust, lies, bigotry” … then it popped up on the screen. Laura’s hand shot up in a reflex and hit her head, I felt like I’d been hit in the gut. They had just flashed “not controlling your emotions,” up on the screen as a sin to deal with in your life. Since when did that make the list? There is enough on my list already to change and repent of, why do we need to add things God never mentions?
Our ten-year-old son at the time was in the service beside me. I encouraged him to partake in the Lord’s Supper with us and his shoulders began to heave and he started crying- almost weeping. My first reaction was to wonder what sin was troubling him that had him so upset – that I did not know about. Was I in for a big shock? I put my arm around him and we began to talk. He could hardly get the words out, “Dad, why are they saying that, why did they flash up that not controlling your emotions was a sin. It is so wrong.” He was devastated because he knows that controlling our emotions is not the goal of the Christian life. For better or worse he has read Feel a couple of times and hears us talk about the subject.
Jackson fingered what Laura and I felt, and it was really reflected in his “out of control” crying. Where Laura and I were ready to have a moment of frustration and try to move on, he was broken over the false teaching. Shouldn’t we be more like that when we hear things that break and hurt and damage people in our churches? I am hesitant to say more on the subject to my church leadership than I already have, but the tears of my son are making me think again.
And, yes, the teaching that we must control our emotions to be spiritual is absolutely a false teaching that does great damage to us. The greatest commandments, according to Jesus, are to love God and other people. Paul talked about rejoicing in the Lord always. Read 1&2 Peter to find how important it is that we live feeling hope. Do not let anybody tell you that these words are not things God wants us to feel, and if you have any doubts you will need to read one of my books.
Some of the greatest commands in the New Testament are about us being controlled by love, joy, and hope – the “grow” emotions we talk about in Feel. That is what Jesus lived by. To be godly is to be controlled by these good emotions.
And it is really time to quit “controlling” the ungodly emotion and start being totally done with them – you will have to refer to Feel on how to start this process.
So, let’s confront statements like this at every level. Do it with gentleness and respect, but confront. Let’s allow ourselves to feel the full force of this false teaching in our churches like Jackson did. It grieves God’s heart greatly that we teach that we should not live by and in holy passions (holy passion is necessarily emotional, whether your or my pastor thinks so or not) and it should grieve ours. Oh to have that kind of an open and sensitive heart!