I heard from a friend that in their small group study they were discussing fear. Some strong discussion was had and some opinions were expressed that if you have any fear, you are not having faith. Fear is the opposite of faith, any fear is selfishness. Now that is bad news for me, as I battle fear regularly, I doubt a lot, I do not understand things and have lots of what if questions that can all too easily lead to fear. Is fear the opposite of faith or can you have fear and faith together? I had to take another hard look at myself and what God has to say.
First off, we are never told that Jesus feared, it seems to be something he did not experience. Anger, yes; sorrow, yes; joy; yes but not fear. Jesus knew all things and knew the future. I am glad that Jesus was God and could live like that. Would I want to believe in a Jesus that had fear? Now don’t I want to be like Jesus, aren’t we supposed to follow his example?
In light of that and my own struggles, I was glad to have read my devotions this morning which included a reading from Dale Davis’ great commentary on Judges (Christian Focus – thanks to my friend William for keeping this in print!). I am reading about Gideon and let me quote freely if you do not mind.
“Here is not your conventional, crusty, immovable man of steel: Gideon is no fearless all-pro linebacker, no General Patton.” Gideon was afraid of the invading hordes and God, instead of criticizing, provides amazing encouragement – in a bizarre way trough dreams and spying and so forth – from the mouth of one of his enemies who is afraid of Gideon. Davis writes, “The Lord knows the fears of his servants, knows how scared we can be in our various circumstances. ‘He [emphatic] knows our frame’ (Ps. 103:14). Yet God is not so strict to be harsh when we tremble; He does not ridicule us for our fears; He never mocks us because we are fragile. In light of that we need to alter our current stereotypes of what a servant of Christ is (or, is like). We sometimes dupe ourselves into thinking that a real servant of Christ is only someone who is dynamic, assured, confident, brash, fearless, witty, adventuresome, or glamorous… don’t think you are unable because you don’t have that air about you. Christ takes uncertain and fearful folk, strengthens their hands in the oddest ways, and makes them able to stand.” (pg 105-106).
Thanks God for that this morning, I needed it.
I am also comforted greatly in my own fear by the life of Paul. If Paul struggled with it, perhaps I am also OK in the life of faith when I do. In Acts 18 and 27 Paul is so fearful, God has to send visions to comfort and encourage. Just a note OK – God I could use one of those vision things right now. And what I find the most encouraging is in 2 Cor. 7:5, “For even when we came into Macedonia, our bodies had no rest, but we were afflicted in every way – disputes without and fears within.” Wow, and Paul talks about his body. Did he have a wrenching stomach and sleepless hours when his body needed rest sometimes just like me? Where is that vision God just for me? Paul also fears and worries over the state of his converts (Gal 4:11, 1 Thess. 3:5).
But God has spoken today to me. I didn’t just open to these words about Gideon that were medicine to my soul by chance after hearing the opinion that any fear was not faith, was not spiritual maturity, was all selfishness, was not right. God sent me to places in the Word that say just the opposite. Yes, Jesus did not fear, but I am not God and it is OK. But that does not mean I should allow myself to stay there, I need to move beyond it and get to work however I can and whenever it comes.
As I think about my friends small group, I think this is the greatest tragedy: When we are so hard on fear we shut off authenticity and true relationship – we play at appearances. The greatest comfort to me is that both Gideon and Paul were open about their fears. Paul writes about it without shame, and Gideon takes his servant on his quest. With Paul in 1 Cor., God sends Paul a friend – Titus. A big part of getting through fear is sharing honestly with others that care and love you. So instead of thinking we need to battle fear as a lack of faith, being strong and courageous, it might be better to call a friend and pour out your doubt, struggle and uncertainty about the future. God will come to you in your fear, he will.